By Anne Marie DiStefano.

1. Must give at least 24 hours advance notice before bringing any snake over 6 feet long into the house.


2. It is OK to sleep on the fold-out bed in the living room with two go-go dancers. But not when my parents are coming over.


3. No more getting engaged!


4. No more using the washing machine to fill the hot tub.


5. No fight club.


6. Clean up all hair and blood from late-night haircuts.


7. No using my bath towel to clean up the hair and blood.


8. Do your dishes.


9. Do not test out your new etching tool on my cocktail glasses.


10. Do not cut down the tree.


11. Please be quiet after 4 a.m.


12. I will not answer the door for you when it is the police.


13. No sea monkeys in the fridge.


14. No guns.


15. Please ask me first before telling any more bands that they can practice in the basement.


16. Stop blaming stuff that you did on Bradley.


17. Andy, I have a confession to make. I was the one who threw that Bible your girlfriend gave you out into the tall grass. I'm not sorry I did it, but I shouldn't have blamed Bradley.