By Cortney Starr

Hey ladies (and a few gentlemen), now hear this: Being a mooch is a fast track to being a nobody. I've seen it everywhere, but especially in Portland: Cute young girls thinking they can get by on looks alone, that men will pay their way while they blithely sit and ... do their nails? Watch the soaps? Having only done nothing during bouts of extreme illness, I have no idea how these modern gold-diggers spend their many idle hours.Let me break it down further: If you have no money, and your partner pays for everything, where do you think the power dynamic in the relationship lies? Oh, sure, I understand that everyone loses their job, or goes back to school, or has a dry month. But a relationship where one partner busts their ass and the other partner sits on theirs is heading nowhere, fast.

"Sure," you cute young things might say, "I can slide through life on my looks. I'll always weigh 105 pounds. My breasts will always be perky, my tattoos will always be fresh and my antics will always be adorable." Sweetie, you might want to take a look at Courtney Love. She's done it all way before you, and your sugar daddy will have probably taken off long before he's bought you anywhere near as much plastic surgery. You will lose your looks eventually. And if you don't have a vocation or education, expect to see your partner in divorce court faster then you can say "pre-nup."

Besides, you'd be surprised at how good it feels to be self-reliant. I know that pride is a sin, but it can't exactly feel good to have to beg a guy at the bar for cab fare home (and then for him to have to turn around and beg his date, but that's another story). Being a cross between a concubine and an indentured servant isn't exactly a fantastic way to live. At best, you're merely unequal; at worst, you're a high-class whore.

So, go get a job. It doesn't have to be fancy. God knows we've all done our times in the pits of temping or waitressing hell. Start paying your own rent and bills, and you'll notice a change in yourself. You'll become stronger and more confident. Suddenly, you don't need anyone else to survive. Your partner could walk away ... and you'd be fine. Keep working on yourself, and eventually you'll be able to hop in your (own) car, fill up the gas tank with your (own) money and go dig for gold again. Only this time, you'll be digging in a river.