#12 ME? I’ve never even been to Silverado.

#11 I only smoke when I’m drinking.

#10 Me and _____? Oh, we broke up ages ago.

#9 My phone doesn’t get reception on the coast.

#8 I only eat free-range meat.

#7 I bike to work at least three days a week.

#6 I’ll get the next round.

#5 I’m a great tipper.

#4 Of course I'll be at your show. 

#3 Cocaine? I stopped doing that a long time ago.

#2 No way am I stoned!

#1 BarFly? It’s coming back out next month.