H2O (CLOSED)

204 SW Yamhill Portland, OR 97204
Phone: (503) 478.7670
Located in: Downtown Portland
Click to share on: Share on Facebook Post to Twitter

BarFly's Review of H2O (CLOSED)

This place did downtown a favor by losing their liquor license. Below is our review:

The Waterworld of clubs—someone’s over-budget, under-whelming idea of a city-slicking singles’ hotspot. Unfortunately, here the ‘swinging singles’ are culled from a mostly middle-management, suburbanite crowd foolish enough to fork over NYC-size covers (up to $10 on weekend nights) for the privilege of swilling ridiculously over-priced martinis in a joint that wouldn’t pass muster in Jacksonville. One cool thing—the cute little baby sharks circling in aquariums around the bar. Open 4pm-1am Mon-Thurs, 5pm-2am Fri-Sat, dark Sundays. Extensive $2.95 menu 4-7pm M-F.

Reader Reviews of H2O (CLOSED)
t'was okay

I went last nite and I was concerned as I stopped going to clubs... the "vip" was long and it seemed like everyone was "vip" which was odd. Got inside and took my coat to coat check, it used to be 1 dollar - inflation and I knew it'd be $2. Went to the bar and was greeted by a friendly face. Someone that used to work with my ex's best friend at another bar. That was the positive, the negative was that he served me weak ass drinks. Everyone I dealt with was friendly. But I can't imagine paying the $10 cover, I still think $5 is pushing it.

Reviewed Anonymously by melissa on March 11, 2007, 3:47 pm
Dumb dumb dumb

This place has made me and my friends list of, "will never go to again" spots. Yeah the atmosphere is cool but the staff sucks, the music is for high school kids, people were doing drugs everywhere, I actually witnessed a guy putting something in a drink and told security and they did absolutely nothing about it. Payed way too much for a "normal" drink.. I'm sure I could go on, but I ended up with tunnel vision and walked out the door with my group and went to Baracudas... That's another story though

Reviewed Anonymously by Does it matter on January 21, 2007, 4:11 am
Sharks

well, at least the alligators escaped (so i've heard). weird enuff that they had them in the first place

Reviewed By BarFly User Yamada on December 15, 2006, 3:37 pm
Not cool

I think it's cruel to subject sharks to loud ghetto music.

Reviewed Anonymously by Sick on December 15, 2006, 2:18 pm
No sorry, I like my life!!

So hey, if you desire an ugly evening, head to H20. Where the staff are delightful persons with the sticks in their asses. Well, lets just say, if you're ugly and/or fat, you will fit right in.

Reviewed Anonymously by why on December 3, 2006, 10:11 am
Tell Us What You Think of H2O (CLOSED)

Your Name:

You really should sign up for an account if you want credit for this review. If you have an account, please Log In

Subject

What You Think:

Yes, these CAPTCHAs suck, but they are a necessary evil. Typing the words you see below proves you are a human.

Before hitting that submit button, we highly suggest you read the following guidelines:

  1. Owners/Managers/Employees: Do not shill for yourself or bad mouth competitors because we WILL catch you. We have been known to "out" repeat violators. Simply identify yourself as the owner/employee/manager to address our users's complaints. Trust us, it works to do it that way. It is great PR, our users love it, we love it, and your business will love it.

  2. ALL CAPS does not get get your point across, but it does make you look completely stupid. The button on your keyboard is clearly labeled CapsLock. Move your pinky 5/16ths of an inch and turn it off.

  3. Mockery is cool, libel isn't. Learn the difference. Naming names in a negative or totally false review? You forfeit your right to privacy and will be named if any legal issues arise.

  4. Where you 86ed for being a complete douchebag? Are you the perpetually unsatisfied bitch? The bartender's psycho ex? Are you copy & pasting the same review from/to Yelp, Citysearch, etc? Then you undermine the value of user reviews. Don't waste your time posting.

  5. The 1st Amendment covers your right to say what ever you want and our right to delete it off our server.

  6. BarFly staff may choose to break these rules at their own discretion.

  7. Shills WILL be publicly outed. By clicking submit, you authorize us to release details about your review(s), including your IP address, email, name, and any other contact info if we feel you have abused our website.

Now, if you think your review will pass muster, click the submit button.

chopsticks