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Holman's

15 SE 28th Ave
Portland, OR 97214
503/ 231.1093

Located in: Southeast Portland & near Northeast Portland
air conditionedpatiovideo pokerlate nightlate foodhappy hourhipstersdiveliquor

BarFly's Review of Holman's

An old-fashioned bar & grill more vinyl than not with long-forgotten sandwiches clogging the menu and unfamiliar cocktail specials stapled to the wall, Holman's House Of Heartburn (the similarly-named funeral parlor's purely coincidental) serves up tradition deep-fried and just a little over-priced. The big screen's now as likely turned to Animal Planet as Monday Night Football, of course, and late-night dining from the back patio tends toward pepper bacon-jonesing techies and post-club wastrels that never quite seem to eat. Still, generations have spun the refigured dart board hoping for free meals, and substantial change has come slowly - the non-smoking dining room has, to our knowledge, never been entered and rumors persist the Capone statue shall throttle anyone to dare try.

Reader Reviews of Holman's
Gotta Love It
Straight up - I Love the place. I've been working in the neighborhood for a few years now and can say I've had many a' Holman's experiences. The bartenders (ladies) have always been sweet-hearts to me and pour a generous drink.. I kinda have this growing suspicion that theyre trying to keep me as hammered as possible; however, I have no complaints. The sliders (happy hour style) are super awesome/delicious and yes its true, if you want a grease bomb of a meal Holmans is theplace to go. Love it. Live it. Support it. Ninja style.
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by Kevin G. on August 16, 2008, 12:18 pm
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Holmans kicks ass
We like to go for the late night menu on friday and Saturday nights. Food is always bomb-Man, can they cook some eggs! Bartenders are an awsome pour and great company. Lady servers are hot and always on it. There has been a turn over in staff, but it seems as though they have got the right crew in there now. They all seem like they are having a good time doin' what they do.

P.s. The patio is one of the best that I have experienced in Portland. Though im not to fond of the stinky dura log-heat lamps are way better for those chilly nights.
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by Man and Lady on August 5, 2008, 9:10 pm
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ebb and flow
spikemonkeyAs handy as it is, I've been avoiding it because I feel a bit of schizophrenia. I really don't know what they want to be at Holman's. I recently was at "Comedy Night" and my girlfriend and I were the only non-comedians present. The service is hit or miss, except for that cute blond girl my friend, Wayne, took a shining to the other night. The guy yelling at the Celtics/Lakers game was a little off putting, but after a few good stiff cocktails, his loud droning took a second seat to the game. although they have good beers on tap, one would think with all the microbrews available in the NW, they would expand their tap options.
Reviewed Bravely & Awesomely by spikemonkey on June 18, 2008, 8:39 pm
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good food to be missed
I remember going here back in the late 60s back when the blue goose and another tav. were up the street & Sun And Rosies were accross the street. Man the burgers were great!! so good I'd gag because I ate them so fast.
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by inoges on December 5, 2007, 6:32 pm
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the New Holman's
It is true, that they just fired about six people in one day. And the alcoholic, sexually-harassing kitchen manager quit over the next night. And it is true that at least one former employee is banned from the premises. But let us not forget that in the mad rush to hire new servers and rebuild its kitchen, this Portland landmark is not going anywhere. I balk at suggestions that Holman's be swallowed by the earth and made anew - it's a staple of this part of town and if you're not into it, don't go. It has its own mythology, and you will be lucky to learn even a small part of it. Hipsters hang out here, there are at least six vegetarian menu options (and all the salad your vegan girlfriend can stomach,) the Holman's coffee is a great twist on the hangover-inducing Spanish coffee that you should at least try a sip of, and on friday and saturday nights there will definitely be something crazy happening in one of the barestaurant's many corners. Video poker, hot bartenders and servers, and greasy food. Sign me up.
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by Mister Lies on October 30, 2007, 5:03 pm
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new staff
holman's just got rid of a bunch of people. there are a few new night people, servers and bartenders, and they are much better than the old ones, more attentive at least. i've been burned many times myself, but it seems like this new staff have got it together.
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by loki on October 30, 2007, 4:12 am
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Sit, Wait, and Wonder
Unfortunately, things ain't changed for the better at Holman's since Brian's review of April '06.

I've lived nearby for years and have gone in plenty, and as such have been pretty forgiving of the rather lackadaisical servers. At least they were consistent.

I'm a good tipper with Southern-bred manners who bathes and flosses regularly -- an all-around nice and easy customer. Never encountered much worth speaking poorly about until my last 3 visits, which have confirmed that the staff has transitioned from flighty to spaced out, inept, and downright incompetent.

These days you can count on "forgotten" orders, interminable waits, and unconcerned (even bitchy) reactions should you inquire about said order, no matter how politely.

It's time to purge this joint for good, or turn it into something else. This former regular ain't going back until a seismic shift occurs.
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by Avenging Disco Godfather on June 21, 2007, 11:36 am
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Story so far
MisanthroptimistWhen we bend our bodies into question marks on barstools, it’s always a hypothetical interrogation, a nostalgic “what if” of clothes littered bedrooms and kitchen sinks, an inflected supposition of guilt. Staring holes into a cold hot meat sandwich. The general buzz of the bar as thick as the coffee, the slow mind.
-What did you do this time?
I've been here enough, I've gotten all kinds of service and meals and drinks and the place is still/always Holman's for better or worse... either at the bar, beating down a bad relationship with as much booze as you can stand or laughing with friends in a duct tape vinyl booth.
Reviewed Bravely & Awesomely by Misanthroptimist on May 30, 2007, 2:55 pm
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Holman's
I've been there often, food is good, prices decent. Always spin the spinner thingie for a freebie, never hit although I saw one young woman who did so I know it's not fixed. Last time there got my photo taken with the Al Capone statue from outside. Came out well, have it as my wallpaper on this box. Never had trouble there.
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by Mike on April 28, 2007, 3:14 pm
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Downhill
This used to be a pretty rockin hangout three or four years ago. I am a neighborhood regular and have been frequenting Holman's for years, but no more, I've hed enough. I have been putting up with the slow service, botched orders and indifferent attitude of the staff, but it has gone beyond that. The last time I was there we had a waitress that was aggressively nasty, borderline psychotic. We spoke to the manager and she was unsympathetic until some of the folks at the table next to ours corroberrated our experience, at which point the manager reluctantly told us she would "speak to the server". Haven't been back since, and don't intend to.
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by Brian on April 22, 2006, 11:40 am
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Aonderful neighborhood place
After listening to the Friday blues programming from KMHD for a couple of years we drove up from Central California, first to visit my relatives in Seattle and on the way back we stopped on a Friday in Portland to checkout Brad Lee and Holman's. My daughter insisted on the Deep fried Mac'n'Cheese, and she made all hands try it. Weird but tasty. The service was good, and by a really nice woman, the bar was good. The little radios at the tables was a very nice touch. All in all the evening was a great success
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by David Gehrt on February 3, 2006, 9:27 pm
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lousy service
I have had ridiculously bad service numerous times here. I keep going back, cause it's in the neighborhood, and then I suffer! The servers I've had are always cranky & foul up my order. It's happened almost every time I've been, so it's not just random bad luck/bad night.
Reviewed Safely & Anonymously (pussy) by ruby on November 15, 2005, 5:05 pm
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Cheap wells and massive piles of grup.
TotalnerdHolman's is one of my favorite bars, and it's not just because I live 5 blocks away, either. There are plenty of decent bars in the E. Burnside/28th area, but a nice combination of elements keeps me returning to Holman's more often than the others: outdoor patio, great happy hour, friendly service, Al Capone statue, cheap late-nite/drunk-nite eats, good taps, and the KMHD show on Fridays. My only semi-complaint is that drinks take a wee bit too long to arrive when one is not seated at the bar; and in fact we have gotten the entirely wrong cocktail once or twice when ordering from a server rather than the bartender. But this is a trifle, and all of Holman's (Holmanzez) other traits far outweigh it. Cheers.
Reviewed Bravely & Awesomely by Totalnerd on July 22, 2005, 5:25 pm
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