On a recent Sunday evening, I found myself drinking wine here with my fiancée and some good friends. Suddenly, we were surrounded by a horde of strange and fascinating people, missing teeth and eyes, wearing odd textured clothing, stringing along canines of all types, cowboy boots, halter tops and not a single tail tucked in. Had I been expecting the insanely devoted Freak Mountain Rambler crowd, I would have been much more excited. Unfortunately, the night called for something less than hippie-dancing to a darn good band. I enjoyed what I heard as I fought my way to the john and I do plan to come back someday. I’d just hope that the Laurelthirst might open up some more space in front of the stage… How the hell are those sexy-hipped hippy chicks gonna swing their goddamn hula-hoops. Great place if you’re in the mood for music and beer, horrendous if you have any aversion to patchouli, body hair and/or human stink.

Fortunately, frat boys and poseurs the likes of Spanky (appropriate name as that's probably how he spends a typical Saturday night) don't visit the 'thirst. It's too real for them or something. Not enough neon and hairspray. The place is down home. You can hear great music for little or no money seven days a week. The food is decent. The beer is cold and there's a great variety. The service is nice, sometimes slow, but they try. Thank God SPANKY is too stupid and deaf to appreciate this incredible place.

Dude, if you can't tell the difference between musicians who can stay in tune and rock out as opposed to cruners or 3-chord MTV wannabees than go back to L.A. or Cincinnati or whatever hellhole you came from.

If tripping over a dozen big dogs with fucking bandanas tied around their necks to go hear tedious rhythms and monotonous guitar noodling in the shitty hippie jam-band genre is your thing, this is the place for you. Smokey cancer pit full of jiggy, stinky hippies. The horror...

So I went to drink here last Saturday. Good band-Jay or James Lowe band was playing some good shit. They can really rock it-go violin woman. The company I was with was lacking. I think the guitarist in the band was making eyes at me. (Hey guy in the band who was potentially making eyes at me, if you read this you should respond. P.S., nice chops and sexy voice.) Thye have Fat Tire on Tap which does the job nicely. The music is always good. Lots of nice hippies dancin if you get there later. Can get a little smoky. Hey Laurelthirst keep on keepin on. (P.S. the company I met there pisses me off so much. Goin from doin the deed to givin me fuckin hugs? Uggghhh! Women have needs to. Did I mention hot band guy with the good chops that I am available. It's cold out ... fuck hugs.)

Here at the Laurelthirst Pub is where you will find some of Portlands best acoustic music. The seats are fairly comfortable. There is a separate pool room with 2 small tables. They have some OK beers on tap, but its not the best selection. Lots of nice people go here... its a place I would feel comfortable hitting up by myself.