Okay, I once had a goal of checking out every strip club in the greater Portland area so I'd have something to brag about. This place was kinda scary. Zero patrons. Two strippers who were both old enough to be grandmothers and out-weighed me by at least 50 pounds. I tipped a couple dollars and ran out the door since there was nowhere else to go in this square box of a place that I can't believe stays in business. I wish you luck girls you are going to need it to compete with Safari and Lucky Devil.

I used to dance at Tommys and I am neither fat nor ugly. I am pretty and friendly and I truly enjoyed the company of those that came to visit me! Sure it's not ritzy, but the girls are alot of fun and not stuck up and bitchy like everywhere else. If you aren't an uptight perv, want to have alot of fun, and get a good buzz with girls that will actually give you your 20 dollars worth of a private dance, then Tommys is the place for you. Fun and laid-back and it is what you make of it, because the girls are actually really cool! Much love!!!!!

I used to love Tommy's. It was seedy, but in a cozy way, like how people describe the Hawthrone Strip (whole other bag o' beans there). The dancers were ok and on Monday night you'd actually see them dancing. You'd actually want to see them dancing. Tommy's Too was bad, but not much worse than Dream On is now. Any ways, so me and the girlfriend go in there, give it a shot, and I'm shocked. 8 years can do some damage apparently. The woman on stage may have in fact had down syndrome. Now, I'm not putting down the handicapped but this ain't Goodwill! It's a strip club! One that apparently has stopped purchasing alcoholic beverages because when my girlfriend ordered a shot of vodka - they didn't have any. NONE! I look over, avoiding eye contact with the girl about to dance in case she might think I'm interested in seeing her naked, and realize they have maybe, MAYBE, 8 fifths behind the bar. I get a beer I swear to God had to be watered down while she gets a shot of Crown Royal (too expensive to be sold out I guess), and realize that the girl dancing looks like Britney Murphy's ugly fat twin with a possible C Section scar. Or prison tattoo. Or... I will say this, the bartender was nice, so maybe they hired some new help, but the rest left me searching to make sure I still had my wallet and car keys. The only thing that's worse than Tommy's on a Monday night is Tommy's Too. There wasn't a dancer under 40 that night. The girl (I'm sure she hadn't been called 'girl' since Hitler was alive, but whatever) dancing actually had false teeth - that she must have left on the nightstand in her hotel because she didn't have them in. Another 'stipper' came over, dentures and all, and did this thing where she's holding her shirt over her tits. She opens it a little and then closes it, saying "Should I or shouldn't I?" Trying to be coy. I couldn't help it, I put two dollars up and said "Here's two dollars to keep it on" and left. If you like seedy, and if by seedy you mean accidentally catching herpes from the seats and vomiting in your mouth a little when the stripper bends over, then this is the place for you. Bottom line - the only pole work the girls there should be doing is installation.

Well, what can I say?....I disagree with all of you. I am always looking for more for my money. I went in there for a drink and a little thrill from a naked lady. I have been in several in the last few weeks. My drink was Very strong and only a quarter more than the lowest watered down drink as yet. This babe on stage was about 20Lbs overweight Perfect! She got so close we touched several times. First hard on I got from these ventures. I did not feel ripped off as with other places. Who cares how nice the place is? How nice is what we are there for? I Will go back. This is the ONLY place that had me wanting to go back.

But is this place really at all necessary?

I suppose as long as there are ladies that want to show what they got to get some dough, this place will still exist. All I'm saying is they must have a crackhead version of Daddy Warbucks as the place's owner because there is NO way this place can break even with how few people go in there.

And why would you enter? I mean, there's two better clubs within stumbling distance away!

The girls at this place are the kind who you get hooked up on blind dates with and are described as having a "great personality." And I'm sure they are very nice ladies.....but while I've chatted up the ladies at other joints before, I'm not going in there for conversation.

I'm convinced there's some kind of background deal working here. Kinda like in Brewster's Millions where Richard Pryor had to spend a fortune to inherit one. Maybe the club owner had to field the consistently worst lineup and worst strip joint in Portland so they can take over some glamourous Vegas club or something.

To each their own, I guess.

My buddy and I stopped by here during a strip club tour of P-Town. The bitchy bartender immediately asks us what we're drinking (I think just to keep us polite boys from immediately jetting.) The other reviewers said this place was scary...that's an understatement. There was only one girl dancing and she was clothed the entire time. The bouncer was an intimidating fool, and we were actually afraid to leave. Nastiest bathroom in town...Think Trainspotting.

It's mystery how this place stays open. I had good times there years ago, but now the women are unattractive, the bartender surly, and the drinks overpriced. They've hit on the perfect formula for keeping customers away and losing money. Don't waste your time.

well lets start wilth the bartenders ive only seen three of them one looks like a man can't tell if theres a adams apple or not the other one is a straight up muffin top who just isn't very nice cause she doen't want to get off her butt the best for last and that real she cute with a flammin attitude. There are like 4 girls that are cute and not fat. I thought there was a unspoken word when hiring dancers boy was i wrong

I worked there not once but twice. First was when Beavers was first moving to Tommy's Too, the second I was bored and wanted to play on the pole. Absolutely no money to be made there, and not the place to go if you are looking for the lights on type of girl. I still hit the place up for drinks cause I know it'll be dead and I can drink in peace. That girls are nice though.

I was sleeping at home and I got a call from some drunken strippers, said they were at Tommy's, my god they even sounded fat on the phone. This place seems to be a legend in its own time!!

Ok....I thought I walked into a Hippo mating facility on National Geographic.

It was 2pm on a Saturday afternoon and I've never seen fatter strippers in my life. Holy Shit.

I was staring at this whales ass as she was gyrating on stage...then she turns around and is horribly cross-eyed. I laughed so hard I almost pee'd myself.

The beer sucks too, get bottled if you can.

Was giving a visiting friend a tour of my 'hood and we decided to check it out...and b-lined for the exit just as soon as we entered. Seemed like the kind of place to go if you are looking to have your kidneys harvested. But if you want seedy, this is the place for YOU.

You know that Bob Seger song "Down on Main Street?" That describes Tommy's 2 perfectly. Without the young, sweet girl.

I was on a strip club jount about the SE. Walked over from across the street. The place was just scary to walk into, but hey, I've committed. Got my beer, sat down. Quickly found that the talent was not so hot. Sip my beer. Look around. See talent in the corner, hovering over a customer. By this point I know that this will be my one and only beer here. Eyes dart back to the pair in the corner. I am now fully convinced that the talent is giving the guy a hj. No joke. Dirty, Dirty place. Go here if you want a hj from an ugmo (save money, do it yourself).

Went to the clubs at Saturday around 10PM. Tommy's III - The booze there must be strong, very strong. After looking at a group of dancers doing booty shakes to Back Da Ass Up, I never thought the sight of half-dozen ladies on the stage at the same time would be so unappealing. The DJ was announcing prize drawing for the patrons who sit by the rack and it seems to be enough incentive for those people to sit up and close to the dancers. Tommy's too, 2 plain looking dancers were sitting at the bar chatting. Could the bartender at least have some music playing in the background? Nah... I decided to skip Tommy's as I can't stand to go to 3 different Tommy's. Funny thing about Tommy's too and III are within quarter miles of each other. Does it make sense to have two poorly run clubs in such close vicinity? It was the Dog Days of August party at Tommy's III so where are all the hot women?

Beav is that you?????

It was pretty harsh yes. A friend of mine took me there during a tour of strip clubs. I knew that I was in trouble when I ordered a kamikaze and the bartender had to find a laminated drink recipe list, blow off the dust and proceed to make a crap drink! Then we sat at the rack a stripper reached into my drink, grabbed an ice cube and dripped it down her body. Oof, I'm not crazy about that stuff even if it is a HOT stripper!

It is pretty scary in there...but my friend followed it up with a place at 92nd and sandy that was a little scarier.

Was it the set of Hostel? Or Leatherface's house in Texas Chainsaw Massacre? I swear, it's one of those places. If you go in, and make it out alive, write about it here, would ya? Thanks...