Uptown Billiards Club
120 NW 23rd AvePortland, OR 97210
503/ 226.6909
Located in: Northwest Portland - Visit Website
BarFly's Review of Uptown Billiards Club
Loud, so very loud. Do the blue-bloods truly listen to ear-splitting blues over their filets? The Uptown Billiards Club approximates a child's soft-focus imaginings of a men's club. Supposed sanctuary for the NW 23rd monied shitheads aching to surround themselves with ineffably classic (Victorian? Rat Pack? Hefneria?) trappings of elegance and masculinity without the danger of applying for rejection to the sorts of clubs to which they imagined their sophomore year roommate's dad belonged. There's Dom, Courvoisier, cocktails heavy on the fresh citrus, a library unread, luxurious seating never dozed upon, craps and blackjack nights absent real gambling, happy hour specials favoring steak'n'lobster and inevitably overpriced because of such, a suffocating atmosphere of faux-sophistication, and, yes, a host of gleaming pool tables. One day, a genuine shark shall discover the entrance sorta hidden above a year-round Christmas ornament shop, and, moments later, own Intel. $2.95 menu 5 - 7 M - Sat & 9 - 11 M - Th, & all day Sun.
Happy Hours
The food was great sure...but 3 hours for a five course tasting menu....i just about fell asleep between courses. The waitress was less than friendly. When we politely metioned that it had been an hour and half and we had only had two course she said, "I don't believe you what time was your reservations" WE told her 5:00, then she said what time is it now.....6:30. A little less attitude would have been nice. My friend ordered something on the regular menu and her food arrived within a few minutes. She sat there for 2 and half hours waiting for us to finish. Thank goodness my friends and I enjoyed each others company.....please pick up the pace. Would not go back for a quick happy hour.....
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The most amazing happy hour I've ever seen. 5 small-plate courses for $10 and for another $10 some of us did the wine-pairing thing of 5 wines to go with the five courses. We love it and can't wait to go back!
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Hi TJ.
Just to go on record, TJ, nobody was singling you out... We have a couple rules: one round of shots per party; no shots of 151-proof rum; no shots after last call. Why? Because people who want to do shot after shot, people shooting 151 and are trying to simply get drunk and anyone doing a shot at 2:00 in the morning is just trying to kill themselves or someone else. Alcohol makes for a fine social lubricant, but we're quick to point out the difference between "lightening up" and "getting drunk." You have my most sincere apologies of someone was rude to you, but I assure you the "we don't want you to get drunk" speech is a tough one to give and keep people smiling.
Regards, Kent
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I ordered one shot and was told that me and the five people i was with were cut off from shots. This was the first place we had been to that night and the second drink we had. Needless to say, we left quickly.
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What the hell is "stiffness"? Of drinks? Of atmosphere?
Anyway, Uptown is a great spot. Good for pool (if a bit expensive), attractive servers, solid drinks. Service is fine, except when terribly crowded...but where isn't that true? Atmosphere is Uptown's strongest suit. A truly unique spot in Portland.
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Really nice inside, good tables, plenty of room for your stick, and friends, but Rocky behind the bar is a douche and poor server taboot.
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