Utopia Lounge

1125 NE 82nd Ave Portland, OR 97220
Phone: (503) 261.9370
Located in: Northeast Portland & near Southeast Portland
video pokerdivekaraokesportsliquor
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BarFly's Review of Utopia Lounge

Not, to be sure, everyone’s Utopia.  One should enjoy excellent bar Chinese and expect to pay for the privilege – on 82nd, potstickers are worth precisely what they cost; one imagines prices fluctuating like the gold exchange – and, regardless of insistent outside advertisements perhaps lingering from prior ownership, breakfasts hardly seem to be the priority. 

Nor, though the drinks are good and strong, would liquor seem to be the draw.  Nor, though one could make the argument, sports.   Flat screens of all makes and models have been erected above both the bar area (claustrophobic, over cluttered, scattered table area dominated by juke box perhaps never played) and adjoining lounge (functionally comfy, as a decent 90s movie theater, with a section of booths well positioned to forge discretion from architectural whimsy) surely intended for karaoke. 

Still, unless the massed Vietnamese toughs aged somewhere between fifteen and fifty truly cared so much about the Wizards/ Hawks and Bulls/Nets blowouts to snap vividly unlit cigarettes between white knuckles, we wouldn’t be terribly shocked to find gambling. 

Crowds never leave the Video Poker alcove, of course, and, from the collected sighs and cheers, side bets may be involved.

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Overall Rating of Utopia Lounge

Absolute boozer heaven
Pretty freakin' nice
Could be worse
Exemplifies mediocrity
Ugh, shoot me.

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