Posted on Wednesday, January 4, 2006 by gina

With Your Hosts Shanrock & Gina Jameson
Shanrock
Gina Jameson

It took me two days to recover fully from the New Years Eve Barfly Mystery Bus Tour.

Yes, I used to pride myself on my liver of steel, my amazing ability to stumble and not spill any of my Jameson and how I used to be able to hold a conversation with hot men as if I had only had one glass of wine under my palate

Perhaps it's my age catching up with me or the fact that I just might not be able to keep up with my own self anymore

Suffice to say New Years Eve was a helluva lot of fun

You take Nick, his cute girlfriend, his parents and a whole bunch if Nick's friends, put them on a bus and stick me and Shanrock in charge and you are bound to have the time of your life.


Nick & His Girlfriend

Our tour began at the Paragon Club, this sleazy NE neighborhood bar, which consisted of mostly white trash rocker heads, a pool table and a smoke detector that kept beeping from overuse.

Upon arrival, the nearest rocker stood up out of his seat, wanting to know just what the fuck was up with us......our big bus outside.......and where the party was at.....

I informed him that we were the party and that we are taking over the bar for a brief 30 minutes of his time......



I wasn't very impressed with this bar in that Shanrock and I stood for the entire duration that it took for everyone else to get cocktails for a glass of water and a sprite.

I ordered.......the bartender smiled and stated he needed to get some ice first........I waited......and then he forgot about us....

We didn't get either one of our beverages until a Bus participant named Kyle slipped whiskey's into our hands.

Kyle & Nick's Parents

I guess the bartender decided that we could only have something to drink if we were using it as chasers. I mean, we were both going to try to keep our drinking to a minimum since we were sort of in charge of the evening but with our first attempt to get a non alcoholic drink encounter debunked, our fate was sealed and it was on from there.

I don't think that the bar could honestly hold as many people at one time as it did......

The staff and regulars seemed overwhelmed and edgy

Needless to say, before the metal head at the table could put down his middle finger, we were on for better adventures.....


Stop Number Two: The Ararat

I think I fucking love this place

In fact I love it so much I have already organized a girls night out January 20th at that very bar

Reasons are as follows:

1) Belly dancing (although most of our bus enthusiasts were tearing the dance floor up because the belly dancing didn't start until midnight)

2) An approachable DJ

3) I can smoke cloves inside even though it's a restaurant

The shots were poured heavy, the bartenders got everyone served in a timely fashion and people had enough time to dance for a while


Stop Number 3: The Matador

In pursuit of free nachos, our moderately buzzed participants gleefully cheered as we crossed over the Burnside Bridge into downtown.....

Everyone piled into the bar.........and the bartenders, unbeknownst of our promise of nacho's, did their best to give us free plates of quickly baked cheesy goodness to go along with our enthusiastic over consumption of alcoholic beverages

Indeed it was....

Thank you again Kyle for being so gracious and buying Shanrock and I yet another round of Jameson and Makey Make

I think this is when I officially started to get drunk, because I distinctly remember me getting really turned on by how perfect my rocks glass of Jameson fit in my hand and how cute the bartender in the red shirt was....

Is it really true that people who are behind the bar are 90% cuter then the rest of the population just because of where they are standing??


Stop Number 4: The Night Light

This is when our trip officially went from dive bar beer soaked carpet to newly waxed hard wood floor....

It was almost like being in an episode of Trading Spaces, when the living space in which you called home is suddenly transformed into something 10 times classier than you ever could have decorated it......

It's shocking at first but you like it......it's home

The jazz band that was playing was decent.

We ran into Chairman from DRATS!!! and several of our bus enthusiasts were stoked that we finally had a clean bathroom to piss in

I like this place.

It might be a bar I would go to if I actually went on a real date with a shirt guy because you know...in order to make a good first impression I wouldn't want to horrify shirt guy with my love of dive bars and Karaoke





Stop Number 5: The Hutch

So now I am officially hammered.

I remember trying to call my dad because he would have loved the blues band playing....

My phone call consisted of me yelling "YOU GUYS SHOULD BE HERE!!! DAD WOULD LOVE THIS PLACE! THE BAND IS BB KING'S DRUMMER OR SOMETHING!!!"

My mother-God bless her, just gets frustrated and tires of herself yelling "WHAT??? I CAN'T HEAR YOU WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??" and having to have me repeat it five times

She hung up on me......


Stop Number 6: The Candle Light

Now this is when Shanrock and I start conspiring. Here we are in the front seat of the bus and she's like, "Gina as soon as we stop, run in there and put some songs in........I mean we only have 20 minutes until bus departure and we must for Christ's sakes sing at least one Karaoke song tonight."

As soon as the bus comes to a halt, I forget my duties of being the last person out of the bus and frantically run into the bar to put our songs in

Her Choice: Do They Know It's Christmas of 1985 Live Aid Fame

My Choice: Who Invited You by The Donna's-to sing to all of the Portlanders who weren't on the Barfly Bus



By this time I am in a fog and sitting at a table adjacent to the Karaoke section with some fat guy who just sang Welcome To The Jungle and his sister....

But at least I'm not as drunk yet as these bus enthusiasts




Shanrock got to sing

But the bus was departing just as my name was called


We are now approaching midnight.

The two Barfly busses rendezvou up at Rocky Butte for the countdown to 2006.....

I didn't hear a count down......

Did anyone else hear a count down????

I wasn't that drunk was I???

I saw Miss Jen

I think I talked to a few people

I remember carrying around two open bottles of champagne and drinking interchangeably out of both of them....

Sorta like this guy

Oh well ok back on the bus


Stop Number 8: Bill's Steakhouse

I just got off the phone with Shanrock

I don't remember anything about this place

Our phone conversation consisted of "We went out to 102nd and Sandy that night??? What the hell??? What did we do there?? What did the place look like??? How long did we stay???"

Sorry-if anything miraculous, scandalous or ludicrous happened at Bill's Steakhouse I missed it for I have no idea what I was doing at that point


Stop Number 9: The Sandy Jug

This was a special request of Nick, the hub of our Bus Tour.

I'm not sure why he requested this particular strip joint, but I do remember fire flaming nipples, chicks that couldn't dance very well and a suicide girl.

I spent a lot of money flipping dollars at them anyways

Hell I might have even given more than just dollars

I didn't care

I sat with Nick's dad against the dancers railing, sipping my Jameson with a big smile on my face

2006 had started out pretty fun I must say

So alas on our way back down Sandy, I had the Barfly Bus drop me off on the corner of 57th so that I could walk back to Shanrock's house, cuddle up in my favorite Volkswagen sweatshirt and go to bed.

I never said I was a good documenter of Barfly Bus Tours in that I tend to black out after several shots of Jameson.

But I have to say, judging by the pictures and feedback that a good time was had by all.

So until next year, cheers and to our great city of Portland

Happy New Year!