This is Jen testing shit out

Dearest Darlings:

In your face, Facebook! News Corp invests record $480M in Portland, Oregon’s BarFly

News giant now owns 0.367% of BarFly Industries, Inc.

Portland, Ore. (AP) - The BarFly Worldwide Campus was abuzz this morning with the stunning news that Fox Interactive, the internet subsidiary of Rupert Murdoch’s News Corportation, had purchased 0.367% of the privately held entertainment juggernaut for a record $480 million. Announcing the news this morning, via satellite from Perth, Murdoch was uncharacteristically ebullient about his most recent acquisition. “We’re excited to move into the interactive drinking community. BarFly is a natural fit for News Corp. You know us Aussies love to party!”

BarFly’s proud founder, Jen Lane, with partner Kyle Ritter, addressed the crowded room of staff, friends, and media. “We couldn’t have done it without you, Portland!” they joyously announced, spraying the room with a jeroboam of Veuve-Clicquot. The dynamic duo quickly assured their employees of “fat bonuses”, then rushed to the airport for a brief management retreat and private island shopping in the South Pacific.

Spontaneous celebrations erupted as the news quickly spread throughout the close-knit Portland bar community. Revelers were seen enjoying full open bar at a number of establishments, with some bars pledging to keep the free liquor flowing all day and night in honor of BarFly. At press time, the biggest party was in full swing at northeast Portland’s ...continued (click here)

_____________________________________________________________________________________ Too good to be true? The BarFly Bus is on sale until Friday, 4/4!





BE MORE POPULAR! Having a birthday? Are you a best man, maid of honor, bachelor or bachelorette? Is it your turn to plan the company picnic? The BarFly Bus is at your service! Save big on the BarFly Bus during our recession sale, make friends, and influence people! Book now and save $75-100 on BarFly Bus Private Party Charters, and tickets for Strip-O-Rama XIII and Cinco de Drinko.

For more general BarFly Bus info, and the full schedule of BarFly Bus Tours, please click here to visit the BarFly Bus Tour Page of barflypdx.com.

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Oregon superdelegate officially endorses Clinton

Lane is “looking forward to coffee klatch”

Portland nightlife queen, and Democratic National Convention superdelegate, Jen Lane, has officially endorsed Hillary Clinton for President. The newly appointed chair of the Portland, Oregon, chapter of Cougars for Hillary, said “I’ve been backing losers for years now. Have you met any of my boyfriends?” The first Cougars for Hillary event will be held on ...read more (click here)


_________________________________________________________ BarFly Emperor’s New Clothes

Aging rap mogul “not the look he was going for”

Kyle Ritter announced this morning that he has renewed his perennial vow to abandon his signature sweatsuit style for constructed trousers. “When my girlfriend started calling me Russell Simmons, I knew it was time for a change. Pants just make sense.” Ritter’s plans for his spring wardrobe include ... cont. (click here)