"The next day in practice, if you sweat, it's going to come out of your pores, regardless. If you ask any coach around the league how many times they have smelled liquor on a player . . . As long as that player is showing up on time, doing the drills and running, that's part of it. But there have been times, yeah. Yeah, you probably smelled liquor on me. But it's not like I'm at practice drunk. I'm totally focused."

-Darius Miles-

And with that wonderful quote, I would like to formally call for the return of Darius Miles to the Portland Trail Blazers. Miles has been in & out of headlines recently, owing to his speculative return from microfracture surgery, a return that was recently and indefinitely delayed by a tendinitis flare-up. Recently, Miles was the target of attack from everyones (least) favorite sports columnist at our region's (least) finest daily news publication. Yes, none other than ol' JC implored Darius to give up his dream of playing in the NBA for the benefit of our resurgent hoops team.

Miles is pretty widely regarded as the last holdover from the team's "Jailblazer" days and, as such, draws an inordinate amount of criticism from our fanbase & local media outlets. Such charges are not entirely without merit, though are surely overblown. Inasmuch as he probably won't be invited to any Christian evangelical retreats in the near future, Miles' behavior is not unlike that of so many 26 year-olds in our fair city. And if his major infraction these days is heading out to the occasional strip club and showing up to work with a hangover... Are you telling me we're going to hold that against him!!? For fuck's sake- what's the world coming to!!???

My first job upon graduating college was working as a bike messenger for a few years in downtown Washington DC. And if Darius Miles would like any corroboration to his assertion that you'll sweat out and reek of booze upon exercising your balls off at 8:30 A.M. in a warm environment (i.e. the DC city streets, or perhaps, a basketball gymnasium), I'll happily provide it. Shit, I remember thinking I could probably save myself a few bucks at happy hour on those hot August evenings by simply wringing my sweat-soaked cycling jersey into a pint glass, rather than ordering that first round of drinks.

I've even held a few stuffy office jobs since those messenger days, and have dealt with similar issues, seemingly at every stop (not quite sure what this says about me.) I mean- how many of us have ever avoided a visit or encounter with a supervisor at some point during the early morning, fearing we still smelled of the previous evenings drunken activity? Not long after those messenger days, I took a job with a local non-profit, and recall regurlay sitting at my desk and struggling to come up with routes to the bathroom that would avoid a directly passing that veritable "murderers row" of offices that housed my direct supervisor, departmental director and several board members. After especially enjoyable evenings, it was usually only around 10:30 A.M. that I'd finally begin to feel 100% confident walking into any of their offices to ask a seemingly innocent question.

"Yeah, you probably smelled liquor on me before. But it’s not like I’m at practice drunk. I’m totally focused. I don't care if you come to practice and take shower, once you go to practice and start sweating, its going to come out." Gosh, I love that interview!

Click here for a full interview transcript, by the way http://flowncars.blogspot.com/2006/05/more-proof-nba-players-are-craziest.html

And truthfully? Yeah, I honestly would like to see what Darius' got left in the tank. He's freaking 26, for shit's sake. And is still widely regarded to carry all the potential that made him the first ever high schooler drafted by the Los Angeles Clippers. Well, yeah- there's that MF surgery and random ailments. But if we're gonna get hung up on that, then we've got to start looking at future savior Greg Oden with the same skepticism, and I know we're all loathe to go that route. The truth is, Miles gets lumped in with Bonzi, Rasheed, Zach and the gang, but realistically has never been in trouble, other than with Canzano's morality police.

And I know this is going to be dangerous to suggest, but -- given the wildly good-natured and likable elements that already exist within the organization -- who's to say that Darius might not come in and absorb some of that selfless team-first attitude? I know it's a lot to lump on his shoulders, but given the poise and leadership Brandon Roy has already demonstrated, maybe he'll rub off on Miles? The situation actually reminds me a little of Michael Jordan taking on Dennis Rodman and taming him to the point of multiple championships (well- yeah, Jordan was quite a bit older and more well-established than Roy is, but I don't think Miles is exactly at a Rodman-esque level of behavior either. Yeah, I know it's a stretch, but I'd just really love to see him get a fair chance.)

So yeah- what's to lose by slotting Darius Miles in there and seeing what he can do? If he seems a bad influence or shows up to games freaking hammered, then just go ahead and give him his release and eat the salary, as will probably wind up happening otherwise. And a best case scenario? I see Darius buying me a cold one (or several) at the 2009 team's Pioneer Square NBA championship celebration (or maybe he and I'll just hit sneak away to hit Mary's there for a few quick ones...) Dare to dream, eh?