When I first moved to Portland I was on the lookout for bars to hang out at. As I got to know a few people I would always ask about the scary bar on Burnside called Dugo's. The response inevitably was "Dude, fuck that place. You should only go in there if you want to die." Not even my "macho" friends would go in there.

Fast forward about two years and I still couldn't find anyone to go with, until I mention it to my girlfriend (and celebrity bartender) Carrie. Of coarse she was game. I have to admit that when she agreed to go I was pretty nervous and when we were driving there I was hoping she'd change her mind. But being a "Man" I couldn't wuss out

The outside is a drab gray (it was recently repainted a puke type color), and there is no sign, but you can tell its a bar. As we walk through the door we are greeted by the sounds of George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone".

The first thing I notice is how bright it is , like a police interrogation room (which I'm sure a lot of the customers are familiar with). We sit down and order two PBR's. When we remark that $1.50 is very cheap , the bartender says " It aint cheap, its economical ". He looks and sounds like a New York City cab driver. Nice touch: Natural Ice is on tap for $1.75 a pint. Too bad I would get robbed and or murdered if I hung out there and got drunk on it!

After five minutes into our stay there a customer who has been know to carry a knife starts threating to stab another patron. This action is happening directly behind us. The bartender say to us "I'm glad I got my back against the bar" Part of me thought he was trying to fuck with me, but I also had the feeling that he was being serious. Then he said he'd perform a little "surgery" on the guy , and makes a stabbing motion.

a few minutes later the bartender cuts off a really drunk guy. The old drunk responds by shouting, " I'll be back tomorrow morning when I'm sober! Fuck you".

"Okay, See you tomorrow," the bartender replies

That exchange makes me notice a sign posted above the bar: "Pissing off your bartender is a sobering experience"

My girlfriend is hungry and inquires about the food offerings. A fat, toothless old woman with dyed red hair sitting next to her turns and says "the meatballs here are really good". She decides to play it safe and buys a bag of  potato chips.

We learn that Dugo's is the last of the Indian bars downtown, and the cops are always fucking with them. Its a REAL dive bar which (thank God) will not be overrun by foam hat-wearing hipsters anytime soon. This is THE place to go after being thrown out of the other bars on Burnside

Drinks- PBR pints- $1.50     Natural Ice $1.75   Five flavors of wine coolers!

Food- Ball Park Franks-$1.50  Hamburgers -$2.00    Rice bowl - $3.50