While we're on the topic of whispy spirits I thought I'd share a paranormal experience that happened to me while tapping the drinky drink at the Kennedy School.

Not to say that the Kennedy is my favorite place to be in Portland; I just so happen to live an arm's length from the fucking place. I was hanging out at one of the mini chambers (the Detention room) enjoying a bottle of Rabbit AssHole Shiraz when it became apparent that London wasn't the only thing calling. I excused myself and made my way to the urinal where I was greeted by pissers tall enough for a six year-old.

Shit... This is one of those two parters... WHile I'd love to finish this story, a new story seems to want to write itself... More later...

... so I'm in the urinal at the Kennedy School releasing the valve to unleash the 750 MLs of Rabbit Hole shiraz that I consumed an hour before. It began as any other pissing session when I swore I heard a child laughing. At first, I thought it was nothing but a kid out in the hallway just hanging out with the parents, but then I heard another child laughing and it was coming from inside the bathroom. I was like, what is this, a god damn gimmick? Now, I'll admit I was pretty wasted, but I know what I heard. Needless to say I was pretty uncomfortable and wanted to get the fuck out of there. It was weird too because I felt like I was the only person in the building. Out of everyone drinking in the place, was I the only one that needed to take a piss?

It didn't matter, though, I was alone in this porceline fucker and no one was in there hearing these fucking kids laughing. And what the fuck were they laughing about? It's like, I'm a ghost, let's fuck with this guy and start giggling. What a fucked up thing to do to the living. Before I continue let me just say that I'm not easily sold on the whole ghost concept, but I know for sure that no one else was in there with me. I even checked the stall before I bolted out of there.

As I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise I failed to realize that my piss was getting caught up on my zipper. Low and behold I had a huge wet spot and I was pretty pissed off. I thought, how the fuck am I going to fix this shit? I can't go back to the bar with a huge wet spot coating the bulge in my pants. So a dabbed a paper towel with water and vigorously wiped my jeans until I could get rid of the fucking wet spot. I still couldn't believe no one else was coming into the urinal. I felt really uncomfortable and eventually gave up. Thankfully, the bar was pretty dark so I think I got out of there without anyone realizing I pissed myself. I felt pretty lame, but fuck it let's see you not piss yourself after the children of the urinal laugh at you. This whole experience makes me want to research the history of the school.

Apparently, something really funny happened in that bathroom. So funny in fact, that the residual energy still laughs in its ghostly form. I wanted to say, "Fuck you!," but that's no way to talk to children, or is there a child ghost clause? I'm reading way too into this ghost shit.