All was not quiet in the phallus shaped transporter. The ladies were begining to get into the spirit and began flirting with disaster. I caught one girl (who will later reveal herself as Mother Mary) showing her boobs to her boyfriend. Her face suggested that she had better tits than any of the dancers. The look on his face suggested it was feeding time. The look on my face when she caught me staring was probably fucking priceless.

The bad girls at the back of the bus began their own little strip club. Removing articles of clothing to the tribal chant of "GO!". Once the beautifully shaped fat revealed themselves to the men they howled from the diaphram. Of course the attention forced the rest of the bus to join in.

We pulled up to the infamous Dino's. I was excited to finally see the one armed bandit. Portland myth suggested the stubb with the duggs was a crowd favorite. I don't know if it was the morbid curiosity deep within, but I just had to see this lady. If anything, I could finally send my uncle in Alaska a postcard stating I indeed have seen the one armed stripper.

Once inside I was surprised to find such a bright ambiance. Most strip clubs are dark and seedy. This one had an air of class to it. The bright lights and red trim really accented the brown nippled Armenian dancing to the beat of Royksopp. Fuck it, it was time to drink. Dino's is a beer and wine only establishment so that broke the code of makey. I wasn't sure what to order so I went on pure instinct and requested two glasses of house red. What a fucking mistake that was. The vinegar heavy red poured in a chablis glass induced an unspoken wincing conversation. Kyle had a look of, what the fuck? I shrugged and tally ho'd to the bathroom.

Unfortunately, the armless wonder never appeared for us. It was a shame, I would have liked to have finally seen her in all her splendor. Jen made the call and we were off once again to places unknown. The mixed drink began to take its toll. The conversations slurred and the lines became blurred, but the bus was still fucking yellow. Next up, Kyle invents "peenor out the window".

To Be Continued...