I once loved the milky white viscous flow emanating from my torrent phallus. Walking into the Tube is like skipping to chapter 1-2 on the Clockwork Orange DVD without the satisfaction. One would want to love the Tube for its modern decor, dim lights,

I'm sitting in a place called Deidrich's sipping the strongest fucking coffee I've ever consumed. I'm literally shaking typing this post. I'm hungover from the two bottles of wine I insisted on consuming to celebrate my arrival into la la land. My ne

The olfactory was unusually acute as Kyle and I walked the five mile journey to Hollywood Bowl. Wait. We had no intentions of walking the entire way, but the bus wasn't going to pass for another hour. We had better luck hitching a ride

Like Jekyll before him, El Bastardo, represents the repressive id that is usually kept in check by the super E. thingo, but sometimes a little too much drinky drink allows the bastard to rear its ugly head. Did that run-on make any fucking sense? Fu

Thursday. The fifth day of the week. Or, the fourth day of the week if you are of working class. It holds a strong connection to Jupiter, perhaps, Thor too. For me, though, it holds no real value other than the fact that it is one less day from Frida

I had the pleasure of experiencing Stella last night. No, not pink rock Stella from Jersey. The Stella for which I speak is the smooth crisp pilsner that is now my new golden pleasure. Peg and Kyle swung by and we were off to XV for the Ah

asdne iej dw; kdjena ;;. fhe n dsa d .adsf. ha,e enhdsahj. fhepx,.

Yes, the yellow Steely Dan cut through the wind like a God damn cheetah chasing its last meal. Kyle and I sat about seven seats back from the white band bandit steering this fucking vessel. Dino's was pretty much a let down, but we were drunk enough

Mr. IP 70.59.129.89, thank you. Your observational deductions have pointed out sinister plots and deliberate paragraphs. [burp]

Fuck it. Times like tonight make it difficult to decide whether or not to deuce , tri, or sept. It was at this moment that I decided I would let Fibonacci decide. That fucking sequence has really fucked me as I can barely type this fucking post. On d

All was not quiet in the phallus shaped transporter. The ladies were begining to get into the spirit and began flirting with disaster. I caught one girl (who will later reveal herself as Mother Mary) showing her boobs to her boyfriend. Her face sugge

Captain, White Band was hauling ass down Columbia Blvd. There were quite a few clubs on this strip so we left guessing out of the equation. The whole bus jeered as we passed the Sugar Shack. It looked like 3000 sq. ft. of 70's style panache. I dreamt

"Ahhhhh...," said Kyle and I in a tandom falsetto. The captain of the vessel fired up the diesel and we were off to the first pole, stage and tassel. Jen made the customary announcements of how things were going to work. I still couldn't believe in m

When Kyle and I set out to do this little project it was simply a place to see how stupid we sounded after nine or ten drinks. Never in a million or so jaded minutes would we ever think Jen, creator of the infamous Barfly, would ever invite us, the c

I'll be posting my take on the laidlaw experience tomorrow since Kyle seemed to have summed it up pretty well. I've decided to test Portland's hot spot features and so far I'm quite impressed. When a place like Slabtown has a decent c

We just noticed that we had some code breakage in the review section. All apologies if you posted the last couple days. Fuck it.

Thursday night was quite a journey. I was working on storyboards for my upcoming video for shamelady when Kyle mentioned he was going to the Sweet Basil to take Prada P. on a dinner date. I had washed down my third beer and decided to crack open a bo

Fuhck.

Kyle and I decided to deuce the night before last to check out the Slabtown. We knew it was going to be packed full of indie shirts and 100 dollar haircuts, but the popularity of the searches for the place on our site peaked our interest. The place

There's nothing like winding down and indulging in the fine cockney ales of Portland winter. We were trying to rack our brains as to where we should grab a quick pint. Thoughts of the PDXbars standards Shanghai Tunnel, XV, and Sewickley's came and we

While we're on the topic of whispy spirits I thought I'd share a paranormal experience that happened to me while tapping the drinky drink at the Kennedy School. Not to say that the Kennedy is my favorite place to be in Portland; I just so

While we're on the topic of whispy spirits I thought I'd share a paranormal experience that happened to me while tapping the drinky drink at the Kennedy School. Not to say that the Kennedy is my favorite place to be in Portland; I just so h

We've recently updated our database to include wi-fi hotspots in Portland bars. The list is not complete as there are places that probably use the Portland Telco Project which is fine by us because we like to drink and post.

With the holidays going on it's been hard to find time to head out to the bars for a little tripint . I've been doing quite a bit at home by mixing the nog with my beer. Not a very good idea, but fuck it .

December 28th will mark the PDXbars first annual Ride the Bullet experience. Kyle and I will be documenting a 12 hour journey venturing to as many bars as possible along the Max line between Hillsboro and Gresham. We will be lugging along our laptops

So I went to Yoko's tonight. Once in a while I like to splurge on sushi, which is stupid since it's 4 days before Christmas and I still haven't bought any presents. Selfish fuck, I am. So Yoko's was packed as fuck and as I waited in line I unwillingl

After eating cris-cut fries dipped in gorganzola and mac noodle drenched in cheddar I needed a place to violently frag an inside porceline fox hole where no one knew who I was and I could get a god damn beer for under two dollars. What I though

Ok, so it's friday. It was time to embark on a mini journey. Kyle finished work and met me at Henry's, which is located in the old Weinhart brewery. What a joke this place has become. WHat used to be a Portland icon now has become the epitome

Although I like the crisp cheap and asshole irony of the PBR , there is nothing like the smooth taste of a solid micro brew. Lately, my faves are the holiday Jubilale and the Lagunitas IPA. Both are high in alcohol, but taste real fucking good. I usu

Kyle pretty much sumed up our Liveon Noir experience. The reason we even met at the Pirate Skippy was because I met some co-workers there for a gift exchange. While Kyle didn't get there until 9, I had been there since 6. Three hours of wine and

ok, so I'm fucking wasted. Period. Tonight started for me at the Salvador Mollies (east). I tempted my coworkers into eating the fireballs I believe i  will have three or  four of them shitting acid rain tomorrow. Fuck it. That was j

Fuck, it's 6 in the morning and I'm still fucked up from last night. Last night wasn't supposed to happen. How could the quint reveal its ugly head on a school night? God damn you, quint! Damn you!

I've noticed that the Portland bar scene has quite a few bars that pour strong drinks. Most establishments like to trick you by pouring the the coke first and then floating the shot on top, or some even go more asshole and water down the puppy. Hung

I was walking home the other day and came across the Tug Boat Brewery. It was by chance that I even noticed the little bar adjascent to El Grillo. When I walked into the little Portland bar I was surprised to see that it was an actual working brewery

I noticed while doing a search that Bodacious Classics isn't on the site. It's a dive bar off of SE Powell where you're bound to find the strange and unusual. Most of the clientel are has-been trekkies who got lost somewhere between the Romulan Syste

It will be interesting once we can text message from our cellphones or even upload images in real-time to the PDXbars blog. I went to the Basil Bar, which is actually an annex to the Sweet Basil restaurant on NE 32nd and Broadway. I enjoyed its thai

The year was 2000, dot comes were falling left and right and Bubba was still our president. I recall a year of overindulgence, arrogance, and self fortitude. Yes, it was the year we met El Scorcho at the Shanghai Tunnel.We called her "swivel hips"

Old man winter blew through Billy Ray's today. I went in for the buck 75 22oz Pabst stein thinking I'd calmly relax after a day of walking in circles. The door blew open with a howling wind and behind it in came this old man wearing a bowler hat,

Ahhhhhh, fuck it. Another day gone by and I'm ready to over indulge my fist sized stomach. Expandage of the acid lined belly; pruning ofthe tin can. Tonight I shall go down to the Berbati and meet my nemesis, Kylotron. We will wager a battle of the t

They say justice is blind, but my senses sure were when I stumbled intothe Doug Fir. I was out with a group of Japanese business men whoseemed to surround me as if I were some kind of celebrity. I wasseriously surrounded by flashing 5 megapixel Sonys

As I get older I find myself standing on the precipice of arrogance. Gone are the days of staunch cynicism, cheap beer and Indie poon.. Today, all I think about are the fine ales of Belgium, the tannin levels of the big red, and how to cleanse the

The bar. A communal place to meet new and old friends while indulging in the fine taps of pleasure or a place to meet chick and hump. Gone are the old ways of yore, now we are going to bars to network businessideas.There seems to be a shifting of

While passing Shanghai Tunnel the other day I caught a wiff of Chanel #5. A fragrance once worn by the wraithlike el scorcho. I had full intentions of going to XV, but her scent lured me and our crew into the Tunnel. I half expected her to be hanging