When I’m not drinking, I’m often passed-out, but when I’m awake and not drinking, I’ve been known to do some walking. Usually no further than the closest bar. But this Saturday, I’ll be taking the long way to the nearest oasis, walking in the Portland M.S. Walk. It’s departing at the crack of 10:15 a.m., from what I like to call the sink trap of Portland, Pioneer Courthouse Square. I’ll be walking with Team Pickles and Ammo, which is largely composed of friends, family, and regulars, of East Burnside’s beloved B-Side Tavern.

Join Team Pickles and Ammo, or sponsor us by checking out the Team Pickles and Ammo page on the National M.S. Society site, by clicking here. Now, I’m sure a lot of you are just dying to know the what and why behind the “Pickles and Ammo” appellation. Friends, that information may be bought - all you have to do is sign up to sponsor our team, send me a copy of your official thank-you email, and I’ll lay the shining light of gossipy truth upon you. It’s actually really funny, and well worth the price of admission (which is also completely tax-deductible, I believe). Don’t let the fact that our over-achieving team has already surpassed its fundraising goal deter you, but note that overall, the Portland M.S. Walk only about one-third of its way toward the big goal of raising $400K, and please make a donation.

Anyways, I’m not just in this to make myself look even better to my adoring public. I’m looking forward to getting a brisk walk in on Saturday morning, because I’m expecting a crippling hangover come Sunday morning. Yes, I realize it’s probably not in the best taste to describe anything as ‘crippling’, when soliciting support for the M.S. Walk, but it’s Red Dress time once again, and it’s also this Saturday, and a crippling hangover - it’s just what’s going to happen.

What’s Red Dress? Red Dress is a modern day charity ball - where everyone - men, women, and everyone in between - wear dresses that are red, party like it’s 1999, and the big brains behind this awesome party (not me, for once), give the cash to something good. This year, Red Dress revenues go to Outside In, Esther’s Pantry, and S.H.A.R.E.. Ask yourself, what’s a more worthy cause than one you can support just by PARTYING? Talk about putting the ‘fun’ in ‘fundraising,’ hardee-har-har.

So, you want to go? VIP tickets sold out ages ago (or were bestowed upon lucky ducks like me, by darling friends like DJ Paula B), but tickets for you hoi-polloi are still available, and include ALL THE BOOZE YOU CAN DRINK. Oh, yeah, besides the open bar, there’s Storm Large and the Balls, Disk Jockey Gregarious, DJ Harmonix, and the aforementioned DJ Paula B, for your entertainment pleasure. Get your tickets at reddresspdx.com or by clicking here.

Counting my karma points,

Miss Jen Lane
BarFly Fame
PO Box 9114
Portland, OR 97207
503.813.9999
http://www.barflymag.com