This Saturday, March 3rd, Dante's hosts a rocking one-night-stand with a ménage-a-trois of chick dominated acts. A veritable Self-Esteem School for Girls, this XX-chromosome heavy roster will have you walking tall in your high heels, in three easy steps: Death Valley, Kleveland, and Hell’s Belles!

Openers Death Valley are newish on the PDX scene, but will be familiar to many as they are a composite of reconstituted Lovely (everyone but Shiitake), plus Pillowfight’s Hotstix, and a dash of S.F.-based pro-snowboarder/artist Corey Smith. Bassist Ellen is one to watch - on stage, and in life. She’s quite the powerhouse - when she’s not busy being a rockstar, she’s an ultimate fighter, a motorcycle racer, a globe-trotting photographer, and most unsettlingly, a genuinely nice gal, as well. Did I mention “smartypants?” She has a master’s degree from the University of Chicago. Jeez Louise, I’m exhausted just writing about her! But, you know, the way I look at it, if she’s got all this other stuff going on, and rocks Death Valley, too, it has to be a good, right? Right.

Kleveland’s been drooled on by critics far and wide for years, but I think the best line ever about them, well, about Stephanie, was the Mercury’s description of the dynamic frontwoman as the “sort of woman Iggy Pop wishes he was.” Playing solo, or leading her boys, as she will be this evening, she never fails to positively enthrall her audience. Sexy, charismatic, and stone-cold sober, yet she still rocks harder than crack. Go figure.

Angus Young’s, and everybody else’s favorite AC/DC tribute (not ‘cover’!) band, Hell’s Belles returns to Dante's after about a year’s longlost absence. Trepidation abounded in the wake of numerous changes to their line-up, prompted by the demands of motherhood and other dayjobs, but rave reviews of recent performances up and down the East Coast belie any rumors of the Belles’ going soft. And they’re excited about their return to Portland. Lisa Brisbois, a.k.a. Malcolm Young, recently raved: "The reason we love Portland so much, is everytime we play Portland, Portland makes sweet, sweet, love to the Hell's Belles. Everybody there's so great, we love Dante's, we love Frank, we love Kleveland, we love the food, we love the atmosphere, we love everything about Portland. Portland rocks!"

Tickets will probably sell-out, but you can get them from TicketsWest.com, for a mere $12 a pop (or $15 at the door). Or, you can win a pair right now! THE FIRST THREE PEOPLE TO EMAIL ME A PICTURE OF THEMSELVES ROCKING OUT AND THROWING UP THE DEVIL HORNS WILL EACH WIN A PAIR OF TICKETS TO THE SHOW! Email your picture, and your full name and contact info, including your date of birth, to jen@barflymag.com. Of course, this is 21 and up, only, so kiddies, you go back to playing with matches, and let the adults have some fun for a change.

Save something for Sunday, as it’s SABALA’S LAST STAND! Yes, those rumors are true - Sabala’s Mount Tabor has been sold to a sweet young thing, for whom we wish the greatest success. She takes over on Monday, so if you want to get your last licks in at the Sideshow Lounge as you know it and love it, be there at 9pm on Sunday night to pay your respects. Doug E. Fresh is bartending, yours truly will be DJ Meee-owwwing, and we’re going to do everything it takes to get the man himself, Jason Sabala, off his couch, and up on a table, to act out “Girl You Know It’s True”, one more time for auld lang syne. BE THERE! It’s free, and it’s on Sunday, March 4th, and it’s from 9pm-2am.

Best retards,

Miss Jen Lane
BarFly Fame