Bartending Academy. Bartending Academy. Sometimes I can actually say that without retching. The fact that anyone would buy that you need a friggin diploma to mix booze is a complete mystery to me. I just got a mailer from a "career institute" that says I can get a license in, among many others, gardening, sewing, photography, and english as a second language. Now anyone knows you don't need a license to do any of those things. But people regularly fall for Bartending Academy. Their ad leads you to believe you'll go right from their school to making piles of money at the coolest bars they got you a job at. You'll probably "pay off your tuition in the first week"! Their recruiter will "cut you a deal" on the $1000 fee! You only have to pay $500 because you're so special! You need their "Mixology License" or you won't get hired anywhere! And bars will line up to hire you, because you "haven't learned any bad habits"! Some people just can't smell a scam. Yes, you learn the recipes and how to do things, but you can learn that with a $12 Bartending for Dummies book. Bartending is too hands-on, they can't just teach it to you in a school.

  Those who fall for this face a cruel reality after "graduating"; Their mixology license doesn't mean dick when it comes to actually working. Real bartenders and most bars don't want to work with them. Why? Because they are a giant pain in the ass. They come in thinking they know everything, and they don't. They immediately start throwing their weight around. They cockily tell experienced bartenders they're doing things wrong. Which really makes them look like an ass, because this is their first bar job ever. They get overwhelmed during a rush. Some even have the nerve to rearrange the speed rack, saying their way is the "right" way. They can't comprehend that different bars do things differently and they have to adjust to the bar, not the other way around. The real bartenders end up pissed while the "Licensed Mixologist" ends up confused. And this is if they find a job. Their school's "job placement assistance" basically means they read the want ads for you. Usually if they do get hired, it's at a place that has high turnover. I've worked in several places where I was instructed to take any applications that list Bartending Academy and throw them in the trash.

  Do you want to be a bartender? I'll save you $500 right now. Get a job waiting tables or barbacking. Then move up from there. This isn't that hard to do, bartenders are notorious for going MIA. When that happens, someone HAS to cover that shift. And chances are, they'll promote from within. Do they keep passing you over for promotion? Get a job at another bar. Before long, you're bartending. It's confusing at first, but you'll get the hang of it. Plus you'll see if bartending really is for you without wasting all that money on a school. Everyone I know who's paid for bartending college admits they got ripped off. Don't let that be you. Now take that $500 and buy yourself a tank of gas. You're welcome.