Every now and then you get customers known in the industry as the Oprah Winfreys because they sit down and ask you a MILLION FUCKING QUESTIONS. Apparently, once you've served them a drink, they are entitled to know all about your personal life. Here's the questions they always ask, in no particular order: "So, have you always lived in Portland?" "No? Where are you from?" "Where's that?" "So why did you move out here?" (That one always pisses me off. Pardon the fuck out of me for being here!) "Are you married?" "Why not?" "Are you divorced?" "Why?"  "Do you have another job?" "How many kids do you have?" "Don't you ever want any?" "Why not?" "How long have you been here?" "Do you go to school?" "What for?" "How old are you?" And, my personal favorite: "So what are you going to do in a few years? You're not going to be a bartender the rest of your life, are you?" 

  Jesus Christ, even cops don't question criminals this much. What, are we dating now? Asking a couple questions is fine, but what makes you think you have the right to know all of this? Would you like it if a complete stranger cornered you and wanted your life story? And Oprah's always fail to see how uncomfortable their interrogation is making their bartender. And if the bartender dares to not answer the Oprah's nosiness, they think the bartender's rude. Hey Oprah, you are the one being rude. Quit being such a goddamn busybody and MYOB.