I build and run websites for a living. I build them to (1) make money and/or (2) create an effective presence that actually at some point generates sufficient ROI for the client.

As part of our backend, we provide links to local bars' websites from their listing. Unfortunately, most of these websites are utter garbage, regardless of how pretty and artsy fartsy they are.

Basically, a website for a local business should blatantly always address the following things in the following order:

1. What the fuck?
2. Where the fuck?
3. Who the fuck?
4. When the fuck?
5. How the fuck?

Unfortunately, most bar websites kinda of only address the "who", and most certainly, never the "where". What this means is that you already have to know about their site before you can find it.

Most bars websites commit the following crimes on their websites, to their own detriment.

1. Splash Pages
2. Background Sound
3. Flash and Frames
4. Unclear navigation
5. Never indicating on the homepage that they are in Portland, or what type of establishment they are
6. {{ fancy.title.tag }} {title tags are are quite beneficial for getting search engine traffic )
7. Purely graphic based (if you cannot use your mouse to select the text, or you see anti-aliased edges, that=graphic based)

So here is a totally random sampling of local bar websites that I pulled out of my ass. Let me say this: it doesn't not reflect how I feel about the bar, just how I feel about their websites.

The Dunes
Website

Title Tag:	{ dunes : home }
Home Page Screenshot
Notes:	Bad - What the fuck is dunes and where the fuck are you located? Bad - That's a neat picture. Why is it important? Bad - What is going on and when is it going on? Bad - How do I find this "dunes"? Bad - Title tag should contain more information, like what and where.
Final Grade	F-

Holocene
Website

Title Tag:	holocene
Home Page Screenshot
Notes:	Bad - title tag sucks, needs more information Bad - Splash/Flash page with stupid birdy. Bad - What the fuck are you? Good - At least it has contact info on the hompage Bad - Contact info is not readable by search engine spiders. Bad - Navigation is a mystery that I don't feel like solving Good - The calender is exceptionally well done. Unfortunately, it is locked away from the users and search engine spiders by the mystery navigation
Final Grade	D+

Berbati's
Website

Title Tag:	berbati's pan & restaurant
Home Page Screenshot
Notes:	Berbati's home page contains most of the vital information, who, what, when, where. It doesn't make me guess. Bad - The where doesn't include a street address. Bad - the rest of the site opens a slow loading flashfile in a pop-up, so pages can't be bookmarked. If those pages where converted to html, and not in a pop up, it would be an A- site.
Final Grade	C+

Noir
Website

Title Tag:	NOIR subterranean lounge, restaruant, venue and bar
Home Page Screenshot
Notes:	Bad - This site is using a frames to mask the urls, the rest of the website is hosted at http://www.cheap-designs.com/noir/. Cheap designs is an appropriate name, these guys suck. Good - descriptive title tag, except it doesn't include city/state Bad - what is a restaruant? Bad - Enter page with a screenshot. What the fuck is NOIR? Bad - Secondary page doesn't include the city it's located. So I'm looking for a bar in portland. Is NOIR in Portland? Where is it? Bad - Internal navigation launches pop ups. Why do so called "designers" think these are a good idea?
Final Grade	D-

Sabala's Mt. Tabor
Website

Title Tag:	Welcome to Sabala's
Home Page Screenshot
Notes:	Sabala's website is actually really good, except for the flash intro. There I am, listening to my own music while I'm writing this post, and I pull up Sabala's website and their goddamn flash intro hijacks my PC's speakers with some shitty live recording and shouting, while they were originally playing a little Slayer to start the day off right,. That's fucking criminal, man. Drop the intro page, and your site would be A+, because it has all the essential ingredients. Just make sure you rename it "index.html" and don't use any javascript, meta, or 302 redirects. Unfortunately, since the intro pissed me off, it is downgraded to a C
Final Grade	C