Is the sound of your great uncle chewing on ham gristle while slurping cranberry sauce making you want to puke? Never fear, BarFly's compiling a list of all bars open on Thanksgiving in Portland. Please email info@barflypdx.com if you work at a place (or if you know of a place) that will be open.

BC's American Saloon - Spanksgiving with The Methodist
Bar of the Gods will be open at 8pm.
Belmont Inn - Sports galore!
Bonfire - Odds are, Julian from PdxPipeline will be there, slowly sippin' away.
Brasserie Monmartre - it's baaaaack!
Chopsticks II - opens at 5pm on Thanksgiving.
Commodore - offers dinner special thingy, but does anybody ever EAT at the Commie?
DV8 opens at 6pm, and has $1 turkey dinner from 7pm-9pm. Such a deal!
Gossip Lounge - patio pleasures abound.
Hawthorne Strip - naked birds!
Jolly Roger - yo ho (h)open!
Kenton Club - screw the turkey, stick with the ribs.
Mary's Club - legend has it, Mary's Club has never been closed in some 50 odd years.
Mock Crest Tavern features a full Thanksgiving dinner for $7.50.
My Father's Place - if it WASN'T open, Portland would succumb to holiday depression and kill itself.
The Pit Stop - open with Karaoke.
Plan B opens at 6pm, and has a full night of rock and roll planned.
Pub 181 - if you must truck on out to 184th and Division in Gresham.
Radio Room - opens at 7pm
Rialto - screw football, bet on the ponies.
Rose and Thistle will be open at 7pm and promises to serve as a "family decompression center".
Sandy Hut - probably THE best place to spend Turkey Day.
Slow Bar - also open on Christmas, fyi.
Space Room opens at 1pm.
Steinhaus will be open at 11am.
Suki's - karaoke-ing it up.
Thirsty Lion Pub - much to our surprise, open!
Tube - The lovely old Tube is open, with DJ Maxamillion spinning and vegan Thanksgiving delights.
Wilshire Tavern will be open at 2pm.
Yorgo's has sports galore, and will feed you a full Thanksgiving dinner for $7.50, just like its brother bar, Mock Crest.

We'll keep updatig this list, so do check back for more Thanksgiving party poop.

Happy Thanksgiving! As the wise old Redd Foxx once said, "You ever stop to think, if the pilgrims had shot bobcats instead of turkeys, we'd be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?"