Every now and then, some anonymous users submit these wonderful reviews that either (a) Read like and ad written by the cheesedick owner, (b) Read like a cheesedick owner trying to make a competitor look bad, or (c) Are written by a clueless dickhead who has a bone to pick because he only got 4 ice cubes instead of 5.

I'd wager to say that the following string of reviews is a (b) or a (c).

Below is the first review that came in. No one knew about it's existence, not even me because I hadn't checked the queue today. Being anonymous, it naturally was not published live and had to pass my rigorious approval process.

What the hell is a strip club when the music is turned down so the bartender (tiny black girl, Darlene I think it is) can scream at the top of her lungs at a dancer... all the while being too busy to serve her customers.. then trash talking girls to us patrons. (there went our fantasies!) on top of that going to the bathroom to do drugs, and then yelling the girls for doing the same thing... all in front of ME and my friends! The female bartender that works mornings now is no better either.. always an attitude and you have to wait forever if to get your drink if your not a young black man, sara, i think it is.(big white girl.) There are drugs and drama circulating all around this bar lately, this use to be a GREAT club that I would come to every week and spend lots of money. Since then, there have been two shootings shitty bartenders bad service and ugly girls.. they either ran off or simply lost all the pretty girls, the girls that work there now, REALLY should not be dancing! I doubt I will ever go back... I know my friends wont.

Sweet, eh? Sounds like sour grapes to me I thought, as I moved on down the moderation queue. There, right below the above reviews, with a timestamp showing it was submitted 10 minutes later from the same IP Address was the following:

I know exactly what you mean and believe this happens more often then the time you were there, darleen goes off on girls in front of customers so often i cant keep track and Sarah is not not the only one who ignores customers, you literally have to kiss darleen's ass to get service, on top of that, they are constantly bitching about drama, yet always the ones talking about the rumours openly and giving their two cents! I believe these two girls may have single handedly brought cocktails and dreams to its inevitable pit fall.

If you are having a hard time following, here it is in summary: Homeboy is having a conversation with himself to make it look like multiple people had a bad experience. First he submits a review, which nevers sees the light of day because I haven't let it see the light of day. Then, 10 minutes after he submits this one, he writes another, in which he agrees with himself. He even tries to be super clever by spelling Darlene wrong.

Brilliant move dipshit. You suck at faking bad spelling. Depending on how you look at it, that might be the only compliment you'll ever receive from me. At least some people who try to sneak this kind of stuff by are slightly more clever about it. If you are going to try to pull one over on me, here are definite don'ts:

1. Don't carpet bomb the site. I can quickly and easily counter act it with carpet delete. Besides, there are but few people whose reviews see the light of day before I first have a look at them, and your anonymous names like Andy and Chrissie and Jenny are not those few.
2. A++++++ 100% positive reviews extolling the quantities and caliber of hot girls, service, beverages, DJ Skills, etc.
3. Writing negative reviews about every single similar themed bar, then one singular glowing review that resembles example #2.
4. Mention that you would be a good customer IF only _______. In fact, the only person who can say that and mean it is me*.
5. Having a stupid conversation with yourself on the internet that only I will read. Or in this case, that I will read, and publish where it was not intended.

*A bar should buy advertising or at least show a bare minimum appreciation for the customers BarFly sends next time we visit, or they can be a dick about it resulting in me and my entire social network of avid drinkers intentionally avoiding the place.