I could fill up our server's disk space with rants about OLCC's contradictive existence and mind-numblingly retarded rationale behind, well, everything they do. The OLCC's new happy hour rules basically state "You can advertise prices, or times, but not both." Rather than waste my time ranting on this bit of utter stupidity, I'll direct you to Beervana, which has a very nice take.

Of course, this does not effect BarFly at all. We can list whatever Portland Happy Hours we want.

In other news, the OLCC has a facebook page...with 69 fans. 

I was thinking we should prohibit these fans from attending ALL BarFly events, but really, some of these people CAN be saved from their own senselessness. So I came up with a different solution, with a set of rules governing OLCC fans that would make sense.

1. Since BarFly events often involve social interaction with fun loving people, fans are required to take Kyle's "How to Not Be A Complete Buzzkill" course and submit a $50 processing fee.
   
2. OLCC fans are permitted to attend for no more than 60 minutes during the course of of a 24 hour period, and they are not permitted on Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays.
3. If the OLCC fan wishes to consume alcohol, they must first fill out a statement of intent and then remove their clothing.
   
4. OLCC fans will be allowed to consume 8 oz glasses of beer or wine coolers, maximum one per 60 minute period. Distilled spirit, liquors, or ABV of greater than 3% will not be permitted.