This week must be international race related events week. Today I was sitting at my desk pulling some old issues of BarFly Magazine when the one issue where the girl with swastika on her forehead fell in my lap. It kind of got me thinking about the past few days about how thing involving race and occassionally Nascar racing have lifted their ugly heads from my lap.

You know when people say "nigger" and then back it up with "It's okay, I have a black friend."? That's what I do with the word "retard" because I have a retarded aunt. Then again, the retard who submitted the review below makes her look like Stephen Hawking, which is fitting because she can't really talk, she only makes guttural noises.

when is the switch gunna happen?
by: nathan on 2007-02-17 IP: 67.160.140.169

the bar has a good feel if you can get over the fact that O Mallys is owned by an Asian family and we all know that the asians are trying to take over the free world so you have to ask yourself when you slap that twofifty down on the bar should i be supporting this? The fact of the matter is i heard a little roomer that this old bar/ asian owned pub is up for sale ;) this makes me very happy cause i have hard time throwen em down at a place like that. So next time you on foster please let the question enter you thought process do i really want to do this to my fellow true americans? or better yet, do i want to do this to myself?

Just in case you didn't feel like reading that, what he is saying is that Asians with a capital "A" are taking over and turning our eyes all slanty by sneaking into the country and opening Irish themed bars. Slanty eyed yeller skins are taking over. My sister told me so. I can say that because my sister is Korean. What do you get when Nathan collides with water and vinegar? DOUCHE!

Speaking of Asians, I was driving my Swedish automobile to the DEQ on NE33rd and I passed a Chopsticks III-How Can Be on Columbia. I need more info, it's such a random industrial location. I contemplated stopping by, but I really wanted to have a certified technician stick a big hose in my tail pipe and inspect it for leaks.

Right insync with the theme of racists and race cards (collect'em all!) I had another sweet racial encounter. At Shanrock's Trivia at La Merde on Thursday, getting geared up for tomorrow's championships at Acme. There was a specific question about what television programs LeVar Burton starred in that didn't involve being the Stevie Wonder of the future, and we were instructed to write down our answers. Meanwhile, the one drunken man at the bar could hardly contain himself and started hollering "ROOTS!" in a rather belligerent manner. The bartender told him not to yell out answers. He did again so she kicked him out. As he was leaving, he pulled out a good old fashioned "It's okay, the black man is finally leaving" bit. I started thinking the best response to someone who plays the race card when it is clear that they should be playing the douche card is to present them with the proper card:

Sometimes, instead of punching myself in the face, it might do me well to hand that card to myself because I realized that the diatribe about Roots reads like a strong but poorly worded letter to the editor about how toast causes cancer.