Way to be above average, barflies. I mean, I always knew that there was something special about my buddies and I, bent into giggling question marks behind watery bourbons at the local bar. Turns out, we can drink most of the U.S. under the goddamn table- and that’s a comprehensive fact. We deserve a blue ribbon… Hey, wait a sec… I’m drinking one right now!

Strange though, the Oregonian sounds so dour about this:

Data show high drug and alcohol use in Oregon
Lynne Terry, Oregonian

Oregon officials expressed concern today over new figures that show high drug and alcohol use in the state. The new data, the most comprehensive ever put together, shows that Oregonians consume more alcohol than the national average, live in a state that ranks fourth nationwide for alcohol-related deaths and have a drug-mortality rate that's been double the U.S. average for five years in a row.

full story 

Alright, I’ll concede that it’s probably not the best news that the number of 8th graders who reported having alcohol in the last 30 days increased by 75%. I’ll also concede that the increasing number of people dying from smoking related disease is a pretty sad fact. But hey, you’ve gotta take the bad with the good.

Besides, its no wonder that Oregonians are drinking so heavily- What else are we going to do about our depression over the growing number of smoking related deaths and all those drunken 8th graders.

Read the full study here… It’s really not as bad as they make it sound.