I shall forego any false modesty here, and just tell you straight up that I always make an astounding number of correct Oscar picks. Of course, now that I have so blatantly spewed braggadocio, the laws of hubris dictate that I'll totally blow the whole thing. So stay tuned for either my stunning victory OR my downfall of epic proportions. Behold my predictions for the 80th Academy Awards!

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men"

Villainy rules 2007! At first, I thought maybe the Academy wouldn't vote for two such brutal evil-doers in the same year, since the Best Actor category is a shoo-in for Daniel Day-Lewis, but after seeing both "There Will Be Blood and "No Country For Old Men," I realized how different their respective miscreants are; in short, Daniel is fire, and Javier is ice. Also, Javier kinda got passed over for both "Before Night Falls" and "The Sea Inside," so I think his reward is nigh. Mind you, Tom Wilkinson is a dark horse, whose excellent Howard Beale-esque (of "Network") role will strike a cord with many a voter. 

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: "Transformers"

"Pirates of the Caribbean" deservedly won this category last year; I think its time is done. And I haven't heard a peep about "The Golden Compass," nor have a seen it myself. So by the process of elimination, I'm guessing "Transformers," which, if nothing else, indeed has killer special effects.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE: "Ratatouille"

"Ratatouille" is a cute little film, and quite certain to win the category (Brad Bird is The Fresh New Way of animated film), though it's my least favorite of the three. I'm a sucker for mockumentaries, and am intrigued by the notion of an animated entry in the genre, which "Surf's Up" is. Also, some of the water in the film is so magnificent that I'm still not sure whether it was actual water with CGI surfers, or if it was all CGI. "Persepolis," of course, has the least flashy animation, but the fact that it expresses so much with a black & white palate makes it all the more impressive. And it was fascinating to see the relatively liberal Iran of the 1970s descend into a dark age of a fundamentalist regime, with streets monitored by morality police (whose methods to enforce said morality include threatening to rape women for being lippy). But "Ratatouille" is nice, too.

BEST COSTUMES: "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"

Kiera Knightly's scrumptious green fuck-dress is the crown jewel in the "Atonement" wardrobe, but a more elaborate set of costumes is a safer bet. They don't come much more grandiose than 16th century royalty: "Elizabeth" it is. 

BEST MAKE-UP: "La Vie En Rose"

Not only did the team do a fantastic job of making Marion Cotillard look like the creepy little sparrow (due also, of course, to the actress' characterization), but they effectively aged AND youthed the shit out of her! 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There"

How can a woman who looks like an Egyptian goddess before she even brushes her teeth in the morning so perfectly channel little ole Bob Dylan?!? Cate, how are you possible?!? Someone please give her an Oscar for this performance! I beg you to resist giving it to Ruby Dee just for that classic "Oscar scene" in "American Gangster" . . . you know, "Don't LIE to me!" . . . SLAP!! . . . "I will leave you!" Don't get me wrong, that was a bitchin' scene, but wouldn't you rather give it to someone for a whole perfomance?

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: "Taxi To The Dark Side" 

Remember how quickly the audience turned on Michael Moore in '03? I really don't think the Academy is ready to risk another acceptance speech from him yet, so "Sicko" is out. Three of the nominess concern the Iraq war, and if voters choose from this hot topic, I think they might lean towards "Taxi To The Dark Side," since the same director was nominated for "Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room," but has yet to win the statuette. 

Mind you, I WANT "War/Dance" to win, and here's why: the film doesn't merely tell how the power of music can uplift a downtrodden human spirit, it shows you. "War/Dance" tells the story of three Ugandan children who live in a refugee camp, having had most of their families murdered by terrorists. Each child's story is more horrifying than the next, and each segment is interspersed with song and dance rehearsals for a forthcoming competition. Finally, a haunted 13-year old named Rose tells her ghastly story to the camera (the kind of story that most Hollywood directors would pass on for a horror film because it's too abhorent), and any creature with a soul watching the film is going to need some time to cope with what they've just heard. The scene then cuts to the kids smiling and dancing as they joyously practice for their competition . . . it's just what the audience needs too, to shake off the despair, as these children have, and appreciate their stoutheartedness.  

BEST ART DIRECTION: "Sweeney Todd"

I myself actually prefer the art direction of "Atonement." The first several scenes depict a lethargic household in which a girl with an adventurous spirit and wild imagination is languishing, along with the droning gnats and the wilting grass. And there is one absolutely astounding, intricate, one-take scene of Dunkirk beach (where over 300,000 soldiers were stranded during WWII), which in a matter of minutes presents the microcosm of humanity, from joys to horrors. Sure, the "Sweeney Todd" sets were deliciously dark and gloomy, as is befitting both the mood of the piece and industrial London itself, but frankly, we've seen this sort of gothic gloom in LOTS of Mr. Burton's work, now haven't we? I mean, right down to the contrasting colorful sequence of Helena Bonham Carter's vibrant fantasy. Still, in this category, I just get the feeling that the Academy is more likely to reward the fantastical rather than the realistic.  

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: "Atonement"

Although Michael "Lost" Giacchino's charming "Ratatouille" score might just upset the applecart, as he is quite the up and coming composer, I think the distinctive "Atonement" score is more likely to bring home the bacon. The rythm of the typewriter woven into the score echoes the thought process of the little girl who is internally composing her version of events, even as they unfold before her. Plus, Dario Marianelli has previously been nominated, AND just took home the Golden Globe for Best Score. Giacchino's probably gonna half to wait for his next collaboration with Brad Bird to get Oscar-ed.

BEST SOUND MIXING & EDITING: "Transformers"

If "Entertainment Weekly" is to be believed, the sound mixing and editing awards tend to go to the same film. I'm just gonna jump on those EW coat tails and double my bet on "Transformers." 

BEST ORIGINAL SONG: "Falling Slowly" from "Once" 

As for the latest Disney product, watching "Enchanted" reminded me of how consistently fantastic Disney music used to be. I still need a hanky when I hear "Feed The Birds" from "Mary Poppins," "Baby Mine" from "Dumbo," or even "Candle on the Water" from "Peter's Dragon." And there are rockers, too - "I Wanna Be Like You" from "The Jungle Book," "He's A Tramp," from "Lady & The Tramp," & "When I See An Elephant Fly" from "Dumbo." Amy Adams is a darling dear, but those "Enchanted" songs just plain suck by comparison.

My best guess here is a lovely duet that is instrumental in the actual film, it's not just something to listen to while you read the credits. 

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: "The Counterfeiters" 

Film-makers keep finding fresh, new, innovative ways to elaborate on how and why Nazis suck. Keep up the good work, kids! 

BEST EDITING: "The Diving Bell and The Butterfly"

This film effectively blends together many different environments and styles, from fantasy sequences, to slices of a jet-setting lifestyle, to the amorphous vision of a man who awakens from a coma into locked-in syndrome. These various elements reflect the many different elements that make a human being, and how we perceive the world.

BEST ACTOR: Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood"

I don't think I'm imagining that I saw some Jack Sparrow in Sweeney Scissorhands' performance - keep that pirate under wraps, Johnny-boy! 2007 was a great year for T-Jo . . . after his magnificent performances in both "In The Valley of Elah" and "No Country For Old Men," I'm willing to forgive that whole embarrassing "Man of The House" business. I've got nothing to say about The Cloon. And finally, Exene's ex-husband gets major points for mastering Russian, but sorry Aragorn - Daniel's milkshake is better than yours!

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:"There Will Be Blood"

There were so many magnificent visual stunners. When that oil was tapped, it was as if Daniel had tapped a pipeline straight to hell, and all of its evil spewed out over the land. Hail Satan!

BEST ACTRESS: Julie Christie in "Away From Her"

Julie Christie is so charming and lovely and gutsy that YOU fall in love with her over the course of the film, and therefore identify with her husband's sense of loss as her condition (Alzheimer's) deteriorates. This is an understated, dignified performace, and entirely differently from the role the won Julie her first statuette, "Darling." 

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: "There Will Be Blood"

I know the odds-on favorite for this category is "No Country For Old Men," but I can't help voting with my heart on this one. The two charismatic leaders of the film, Daniel Plainview & Paul Sunday, have an epic power struggle which is fought mostly with words; to sway the rabble and to humiliate one another. In one climactic scene, Daniel whispers to Paul, after he has been made to debase himself before the latter's congregation. I don't know what exactly was said, but I'm confident it was far less tender than the mystery words whispered to Scarlett Johansen by Bill Murray in "Lost In Translation." 

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: "Juno"

We all know that The Academy loves to give the BOS award to something quirky, but not TOO bizarre ("Lars & The Real Girl"). "Juno's" a done deal. 

BEST DIRECTOR: "No Country For Old Men"

I just realized the Cohen Brothers have never won an Oscar for directing . . . so NOW is the time! 

BEST PICTURE: "No Country For Old Men"

My personal favorite of the five nominees is "There Will Be Blood," but the buzz is all up over this here film.