Posted By ShanRock on October 4, 2007, 5:07 pm

We Rode The Bus Hard & Put It Away Wet

A couple of years ago, I rode Barfly's annual Back To School trivia bus.  My team, No Wire Hangers, dressed as Mommie Dearests, which made us first in style, even though we only took second place in the actual trivia challenge. 

A couple of weeks ago, I hosted Barfly's annual trivia bus.  In a rare glimse inside the private correspondence of Miss Jen Lane, here is my post-bus debriefing to her (she thought you'd like to share the experience).  And so, with a few minor edits to maintain an "R" rating, here is the story of the little bus that could . . .

Hi, Miss Jen!  Hope you're having a lovely time on the east coast.  Everything went great last night.  I must say . . . the trivia bus crew was very prompt and obedient (god bless us nerds!).  Here's the recap.  First of all, your friend Heidi "Meat" and her crew bailed as soon as we arrived at our first stop.  The reason was because there were two teams of "shirt guys" (frat boy types) that she said she just knew would bug the shit out of her.  More on these boys 
later . . .

Sewickly's: Excellent choice to start here.  Plenty of room for everyone to gather and mingle, and they were great about bringing us plate after plate of free appetizers, all the better to lay a solid foundation for the forthcoming bacchanalia.

XV: A great venue for mobile triviology. Even though our busful of boozehounds were scattered all over both rooms, they had no trouble hearing me - lovely acoustics in here.  Also, there was plenty of room for teams to spread out on tables to write their answers.  Staff was very friendly and accomodating.

Tube: Not such a good location for a trivia bus.  Partially because there weren't nearly enough places for teams to sit or tables to write on, and also
because it was crank-it-up-to-11-death-metal night (before pausing long enough for me to do a quick round, the DJ warned me of a forthcoming seven minute long song!).  Once again, though, the staff was wonderful.  In fact, a bartender friend of yours (Holly, maybe?) bought me a drink - that's classy!  

Speaking of barfly hosts getting free drinks as tips on buses, have you ever noticed how nobody buys you a drink at the first couple of venues, then suddenly, everybody wants to buy your cocktails all at once, so you wind up triple-fisting by the third bar?  Not that I'm complaining, mind you . . .

Matador: Yet another good spot for making the trivia.  The shirt guy team got TOTALLY busted cheating, though!  Team Titty Titty Bang Bang, who were sitting next to them, had already suffered through many "The Todd" style jokes and sexual double-entendres, and were thusly quick to call shenanigans when they noticed them spell checking "Czechoslovakia" on their phone (as a bonus point for a geography question).  The perpetrator was so drunk that he didn't even notice me walk straight up, bend over his phone, and read "C*Z*E*C*H*O*S . . ." on his phone, plain as day.  Anyway, we all pointed and laughed, calling them out as cheaters, and I grabbed a fistful of Dum Dums to bestow upon them.  Perhaps they used illicit means because they weren't doing so well; at the previous bar, they complained that the questions were "too hard," even though I had "drunked down" my material for the bus (sample question from the "too hard" round: a multiple choice question about the toddler board game Candyland). 

But they took our ribbing in stride, and I think they didn't bother hiding their cheatery because they knew they were leaving anyway . . . they asked me where a good titty bar was.  I told them it depended upon what they were into, and that I personally liked places such as Union Jack's, that have girls who look different from one another instead of a bunch of barbie dolls.  To this, they replied, "Well, we wanna look at naked barbie dolls, so where should we go?!"  I told them that they'd be more likely to find what they were looking for in the 'burbs.  I called a cab for them and they headed off to Acropolis . . . problem solved!

Cheers Northwest: Perfect location for the trivia bus!  All of the teams sat in one big room together, and we also did a re-enactment of the whole cheating incident.

Club 21: Pretty good venue for the mobile triviology.  Fittingly, I ran into my chums JessiLixx and The Sex Object (or is he The Model?!?), there, as they are contributing members/creators of the Club 21 tribute album. What a bitchin' idea that was!

Tonic: Just as you predicted, people were all over the place in this venue, having been comped for the whole club (one team couldn't resist the romance of sucking face by the fire), so I just gave 'em handouts; they had to fill in missing words to The A-Team Intro. On that note, I recently found a funny quote by the dreamy Face Man, uber-male Dirk Benedict: "It was a guy's show. It was male driven. It was written by guys. It was directed by guys. It was acted by guys. It's about what guys do. We talked the way guys talked. We were the boss. We were The God. We smoked when we wanted. We shot guns when we wanted. We kissed the girls and made them cry... when we wanted. It was the last truly masculine show." You can make me cry anytime, Dirk! I'd rather watch The A-Team than that pussy Sex and The City crap anyways. 

Horse Brass: Very good trivia venue (unsurprisingly, as it is was the site of Portland's original pub quiz, "The Keg Quiz," courtesy of Drew Marcus).  In a thrilling conclusion, at the end of the last round, two teams were tied for first place, so I had a short tie breaker between Serious Bidness and . . . the team that won.  The victors, and recipients of the coveted $100, was a charming couple of gents called Freaks of the Industry, whom Titty Titty Bang Bang affectionately called "Pinky and The Brain.". 

Thanks for trusting me with your bus baby!  It was loads of fun, as always!

Trivia Jock ShanRock
« One Is a Genius; The Other is Insane!   At the Risk of Sounding Like The Portland Mercury's "I, Anonymous" . . . »

You must login if you want to scribble some bathroom graffiti here. If you don't have an account, you should signup

If You Love BarFly, Please Support Our Advertisers
Have a drink and tell'em "I saw you on BarFly"