I'll readily admit that jukeboxes in drinking establishments have profited greatly thanks to The Internets. We find ourselves living in an era where the following conversation can actually occur:

 (entering bar, hearing Yes' "The Gates of Delirium" cranked up in all its geeky, progged-out glory)

me: (querying bartender, incredulous) Hey, is this on someone's Ipod?

her: No, it's on the jukebox. I'm not sure who played it.

random guy: I played it, because it's really long, and will annoy the shit out of the guys I'm beating in shuffleboard.

 See, that's pretty cool--the internet provides ample fodder for annoyance, obscurity and overall weirdness. Need to rattle an opponent in shuffleboard or billiards? Got you covered with side two of Angel Dust, man. Want to get some annoying people to leave the bar in peace? Plop on a Napalm Death medley, and you're set. Captain Beefheart's "Tropical Hot Dog Night" will probably work for that, too, or maybe some Morrissey solo selections. Whatever.

 The problem with internet jukes is their inherent lack of personality. Analog jukes speak volumes to the tone, clientele, and vibe of an establishment far more than the ability to access the digital Library of Congress ever could. Not to mention the cost--Internet jukes are damn spendy, and even more so if you demand to hear your selection first. Ever been in a place where the jukes being held hostage, pumping out endless Big and Rich selections? Sure you have.  

 Memory of awesomeness: Back in '94, my friend Clark and I dropped into Hal's Tavern one afternoon for a game of pool. Unsurprisingly, we were the only patrons that afternoon. Clark decided to liven up the place by playing Humble Pie's "Hot 'n' Nasty" (on 45, no less!) an incredible 12 consecutive times. Though we thought this was hilarious, the bartender was not amused: not only did he physcially render the juke inoperable by unplugging it, but he 86'ed us before the tune had cued up for the fourth time. Sigh.

 No hard feelings, bartender guy, but it could've been worse: at least we didn't do that with Grand Funk's "Closer to Home," or anything by Britny Fox.

 Bring back the analog jukebox!